Sruti is Sravan’s older sister by two years. I asked Mayank why his son wants his sister now. He replied matter of factly that the boy shares anything he gets with his sister. Last week, the child was interviewed for admission in a prominent school, at the end of which the Principal handed a cookie to little Sravan. Immediately the boy asked for another piece for Sruti. The Principal then asked who Sruti was, and Sravan proudly said she was his big sister. The father shared a few other incidents of how the boy loves to serve and share. If his sister is not home, he’ll keep things for her, or share things with others: his parents or whoever is present at home. He’d also spontaneously serve his grandparents.
Suddenly my vision of the boy changed. He was no longer a defiant imp; rather I began to think he is an angel.
As we grown-ups live to grab and get, this child seemed to want to share and give. My verdict on how Mayank and his wife felt about their kids also changed: they were grateful to be blessed to see pure and innocent exchanges daily.
It’s time we elders reawaken our celestial child within and learn to trust and give in abundance? Remember when a child receives abundant love, she can also give love happily.
But if you’ve been hungry for many days, you can’t feed others. Research has shown that many abusive men and women were themselves starved of love and hugs when they were children. The umbilical cord connects the baby with the mother; when it is cut on birth, the child is lost. But the overwhelming dosage of love and physical touch more than substitutes; it keeps the bonding alive and strong. The kisses, hugs, and cuddles gives the child emotional security; when children receive abundant affection, they are able to give back generously in their later years.
Let’s say you were undernourished and received no love in childhood. Does that mean you are destined to suffer and spread misery?
No! You can now give love to yourself, and you need it badly. Practically speaking, you could write at least one page of self-appreciation daily. Affirmations – positive statements in the present tense- also help. An example of affirmation: “I love myself. I now receive respect, appreciation and loads of love.”
You could also chose to be what Steven Covey called a ‘Transition person’ – a person who has received negativity in life, what choses to be an instrument of positive change instead.